Hey lovely blog readers,
So again its been a while I guess my new years resolution to have more blogs kinda went out the window along with some other resolutions so I doubt I’ll be making any this year. However I’ve wanted to write something for the past few days and its always been about hibernation.
So right now I very much feel like an animal going into hibernation. I’ve been really bad at replying to emails, texts ect and I’ve only left the house for supplies and to go to church (even that’s a push some days). I’m feeling somewhat distant from my spring/summer self. I forget how much worse I tend to be in the winter months, infections increase and even though at times they are only minor because it comes at a time when I’m already feeling rough so even the smallest of things hits me. I’m finding the ‘hey how has your week been?’ and the ‘how are you?’ questions more and more difficult to answer. No-one likes a moaner (I hate it) but at the same time after spending 80-90% of your week resting really sucks when you know others lives are continuing at a normal pace, all you want to say is actually its been pretty pants but instead you go with the its been alright or the tentative mixed hand gesture.
For the past few weeks I’ve had really bad migraines (partly down to the infusions I have for my immune system), and although the headache part may only last a day- sometimes it’s a good few days before I’m feeling human again. Then the next one comes. Its been really naff because although I’ve not been anywhere near ill as I have been in the past they are hitting me pretty hard. So I just want to apologies to all those who have waited days for a reply to a text, or asked me to do something and I’ve had to flake.
Hibernation is not as glamorous as it sounds, and although I was always pretty envious of animals who hibernated as a kid, now I get to experience it- it’s a real the grass is greener situation. It very quickly gets boring, seeing the same 4 walls, Netflix as great as it is gets boring too, all you want to be able to do is go out for a nice walk or to have a catch up with someone but energy levels or that stupid migraine means you can’t. I’m really missing the coffee shops, and exploring my city. However, hibernating does mean that when I can I will, I’ll get to appreciate the small things again. I also know that this is just a small season in my life and I probably should be doing more to embrace it and to change the way I think about it. Hopefully in a few days time I’ll be doing just that but for now hibernation sucks and I cant wait for spring.
Until next time….